Paved With Verbs
​
​College Admissions Counseling
***
Life Coaching
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
  • Oxford-Style Tutorials
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Life Coaching
  • Payments

Blog
Advice to Get You Started on Your Applications -- And, hopefully, Improve Your Whole Life :)

How to Write Epic and Unforgettable Service Trip or Teen Travel Tour Essays for College Admissions

5/22/2018

5 Comments

 
Picture
You're a teenager who has traveled to another country. Perhaps with your family. Perhaps with some kind of teen travel tour, volunteer, mission or service organization. Perhaps through a study abroad program like School Year Abroad, Island School, or Where There Be Dragons.

You had an incredible experience! You think this is one of the most interesting things you've done in your whole life.

And everyone's telling you not to write your college essays about it.

​Lucky for you, those people are completely wrong.

As I wrote in Here's What Colleges REALLY Think of Volunteer Work:

There are no bad essay topics, only bad essays.

You can absolutely write an unforgettable essay about your summer or semester abroad trip... you just have to make sure your essay is so unique and say so much about you, that no one else in the world could have written it.

To that end, AVOID using phrases and themes like: 

  • "I went there to help them, but in the end, they helped me."
  • "It was eye-opening to witness real poverty."
  • "Going abroad made me grateful for what I have at home."

On their own, these topics are boring and laughably cliche. 

If you want your essay to reflect well on you, you need to be strategic -- on and off paper. 

Think of it not in terms of what you did on the trip, but in terms of what you want the essay to say about you. Things like:

  • I am someone who finds and creates opportunities.
  • I am someone who connects deeply with the environment and people around me.
  • I went where I went for a reason.
  • My service/study/travel abroad trip wasn't a one-time, n-week event. I'm resourceful and engaged, and have connected this trip to other interests and pursuits in my life.
  • I did this trip to further an interest that I have been developing, and/or plan to pursue in college. Here's how I've applied what I learned.

One key to successfully conveying these messages is speaking with teachers, especially those who are writing your recommendations, about your trip abroad.
Need more help strategizing? Check out my Rates and Services!

​Before you go, tell them where you're going. Tell them why you're going. Ask them questions about how the coursework could connect with or apply to the country you're visiting. Ask if they have any reading recommendations that might enrich your trip or get you up-to-speed so you can hit the ground running. Tell them about a news article you read about the region, and ask a question they might be able to answer or discuss with you.


While you're there, send an email thanking them for their reading recommendations. Give them a quick trip update, and mention one or two things you've learned, seen, or done that you can connect back to the topic they teach.

When you return, have questions, stories and examples ready to share with them.

Not only will this make you a wiser, more informed global citizen... it will also demonstrate to teachers how deeply you engage with material and resources... and it will demonstrate to colleges that you're not going to show up on their campus and be a total waste of space. (Learn more in The Two Biggest Mistakes Seniors Make on Their College Applications.)

So, for example. Say I'm a rising senior. I'm interested in majoring in Economics or Business. I just finished taking AP Econ -- or maybe I just plan to enroll next year! And I've been an active member of FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) since freshman year. I will be going to Italy this summer for a Service and Adventure trip.

In the fall, I will be applying to several schools that are on the Common App, which requires one 650-word essay on one of 7 topics.

Here's how I might answer Prompt 4: Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. (Though this essay could be easily modified to answer 5, 6, or 7, as well.)

​Ahh -- Pizza Napoletana! The very essence of Italian cooking! Prior to our meal, Giulia, the restaurant owner, had explained that the tomatoes must be grown in the volcanic soil of San Marzano sul Sarno, while the dough must be crowned only with D.O.C. (Denominazione di Origine Controllata) Mozzarella di Bufala Campana. She’d shown us her traditional wood-fired oven while her two daughters giggled by her side.

After the explosion of history and flavor that was our dinner, my Teen Travel group erupted into conversation… but I slipped away. Around the corner, Giulia and her employee were tidying up the kitchen.

“Thank you for dinner. It was delicious,” I said in slow survival Italian (I’d downloaded some Pimsleurs courses before the trip).

She smiled at my attempt. Soon, we were discussing the joys and challenges of her work. When I asked if she had ever considered expanding her business, she thumbed a stain on her apron.

“No. In Italy, family-run business can’t get credit.”

I’d known it was a stormy market -- before the trip, I’d asked my Economics teacher if he had any reading recommendations that would help me understand Italy’s economy, and had worked my way through his list in the three weeks before my departure from JFK. I’d reveled in (and sometimes stared in confusion at) the details of bailouts and austerity… but never considered how it might affect small businesses.

That night, I did some additional research. I learned that, even though Italy’s economy is recovering, the big banks are still unable to offer capital to small businesses -- the very ones that were making my service trip so memorable.

This sparked my interest in the most basic of financial products: the bank loan. Is this something that could be profitable in Italy -- or is it still too risky? Is this a problem that is ripe for innovation? I emailed my FBLA advisor to find out. “Aren’t you taking AP Stats in the fall?” she asked. “Why don’t you collect some data during your trip so you have something real to analyze?”

So began my senior project, “The Case for Small Business Lending in Italy.” Compiling survey data for 30 minutes each night after my fellow travelers had collapsed into their beds was exhausting -- thank Jupiter for marocchino and caffe corretto! But it was intellectually stimulating and interpersonally meaningful to discuss small business ownership with the vendors who always went the extra mile, even for a loud and boisterous group of American teenagers.

Upon returning home, I had the opportunity to relive my trip every day. I learned to use MAXQDA software to qualitatively analyze survey results, and had the chance to apply what I was learning in Stats to real-world problems. I began reading about non-traditional small business lenders, like Cabbage and Blue Vine -- and after I finish this essay, I’ll start working on my cover letter for internships with them this summer, because I am sincerely excited about being able to offer fast, cheap loans to bold entrepreneurs who just want to make a living sharing their passions with the world.

The obvious takeaway of this essay is that I went to Italy on a service trip and discovered an interesting problem I am still trying to solve. But -- who knows? When I arrive at college and begin taking classes on topics from Bioethics to Bob Dylan, I might discover a completely different path.

Whatever I become an expert in, whomever I decide to help, my ability to look a little deeper, start conversations with teachers, mentors, and strangers, and follow through with my curiosities, will truly empower me to make a difference.

​

With a few modifications, you could answer Prompt 5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others, if that feels more authentic to you.
​

...because I am sincerely excited about being able to offer fast, cheap loans to bold entrepreneurs who just want to make a living sharing their passions with the world. 

I am proud to have learned so much in such a short amount of time -- and, perhaps in the next few months, I might learn something that no one has ever learned before (though, admittedly, my sample size is pretty small, so I might not have statistical relevance). But, more importantly, I am proud to have learned the importance of constantly asking, "Why?" "How?" and, "What if?"

In a world that is so obsessed with grades and test scores, it is easy to focus only on what is there. However, my service trip sparked a period of personal growth that made me realize that that isn't who I want to be.  I'm proud to have become someone who gladly accepts the opportunities set before her -- but who also digs a little deeper to find additional resources, ideas, and connections.

By reminding myself to see the world this way, a simple, "Thank you for dinner, it was delicious," can open a world of ideas.
​

You could also modify this essay to fit one of the UC prompts (remember, all of the UCs, whether UCLA, UC Berkeley, UC Santa Barbara, UC Davis, or any of the others, all use the same application essays). 

Here's how I might answer Prompt 4: ​​Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words)
Pizza Napoletana, the essence of Italian cooking! Flavor exploded in my mouth as Giulia, the restaurant owner, explained that the tomatoes must come from the volcanic soil of San Marzano sul Sarno, while the dough must be crowned with D.O.C. (Denominazione di Origine Controllata) Mozzarella di Bufala Campana. 

Soon, my Teen Travel group erupted into conversation… but I slipped away to find Giulia.

“Dinner was delicious!” I said in slow Italian (I’d downloaded Pimsleurs-Italian before the trip).

We began discussing the joys and challenges of her work, and I asked if she’d considered expanding her business.

“No. In Italy, family-run business can’t get credit.”

I’d known it was a stormy market -- before the trip, I’d asked my Economics teacher for reading recommendations that would help me understand Italy’s economy. I’d revelled in the details of bailouts and austerity… but never considered how it might affect “the little guy.”

That night, I did some research. Indeed, despite Italy’s slow recovery, banks are still unable to offer capital to small businesses -- the very ones that were making my trip so memorable.

This sparked my interest in the most basic financial product: the bank loan. Is this something that could be profitable in Italy -- or is it still too risky? Is this a problem that is ripe for innovation? I saw the opportunity to turn this into a major educational opportunity, and emailed my FBLA advisor for guidance.

So began my senior project, “The Case for Small Business Lending in Italy.” Compiling survey data for 30 minutes each night after my fellow travelers had collapsed into bed was exhausting -- thank Jupiter for caffe corretto! But I was determined to find answers.

Upon returning home, I learned to use MAXQDA to qualitatively analyze survey results. I studied non-traditional small business lenders, like Blue Vine. (After I finish this essay, I’ll start working on my cover letter for an internship this summer.)

Going to Italy was an incredible opportunity. However, one reason I am a sbalorditivo candidate for UC admission is my ability to push far beyond the scope of the curriculum. If I can turn a 3-week service trip into a 40-week project, just imagine what I can do with the resources at UC!
​

Whatever version you go with, it's a powerful and compelling essay. It shows that you build relationships with teachers and mentors; ask questions other students aren't asking; and follow up with action. You're not just some spoiled rich kid whose parents sent them on a trip. You're an active and purposeful scholar who takes nothing for granted.

It shows you are the exact kind of student colleges want -- even though it's a service trip or teen travel essay, which so many people wrongfully think should be avoided at all costs.

Because, once again, there are no bad essay topics. Only bad essays.

​Need help turning your service trip essay into a killer essay -- and, eventually, an acceptance letter? Email me, call me, WhatsApp me, or fill out this contact form. I am available for in-person meetings with students in the San Francisco Bay Area, and Skype/Google meetings with students, both nationally and internationally.

    Contact Paved With Verbs

Submit

But, most important -- have a blast on your trip!​
5 Comments
Ellen Shu
9/18/2020 09:03:15 am

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write this. I was so tired of everyone telling me not to write about the most meaningful experience basically of my life, and reading this helped me figure out not only THAT and HOW I could do that, but also how to get the most out of upcoming opportunities. This is amazing college essay advice, but it's also some of the best life advice I've ever heard.

Reply
Broken Arrow AC Repair link
8/2/2022 09:05:26 am

I really enjoyed your blog posts, thank you

Reply
varanasi link
10/25/2023 11:58:49 pm

Your travel blogs are like a secret treasure chest of knowledge and inspiration. Each article is a journey that I eagerly embark on, and I'm always left in awe of the world's beauty thanks to your posts. Your commitment to delivering practical tips and heartfelt narratives is truly commendable. I'm deeply grateful for the insights and experiences you share with us. Keep up the fantastic work!

Reply
Home Depot Survey Official link
1/26/2024 01:18:00 am

The Home Depot store was founded by Bernard Marcus, Arthur Blank, Ken Langone, Pat Farrah, and Ron Brill. As part of their commitment to customer satisfaction, they provide a survey for feedback. Upon completing the official survey at https://www.homedepotcomsurvey.co/survey/, loyal customers have the opportunity to win a $5000 gift card. This initiative aims to gather valuable insights from customers and reward their loyalty with a chance to receive a significant prize.

Reply
Lowes.com survey link
12/17/2024 10:27:22 am

Lowe’s, under the leadership of CEO Marvin Ellison, offers a wide range of high-quality home improvement products, including tools and appliances, to meet the needs of every customer. The company has strengthened its presence across the U.S. and has become a trusted name in the industry. By participating in Lowe’s official survey at https://lowes-survey.link/enter/, customers can share valuable feedback and enter for a chance to win a $500 gift reward. Your input will help Lowe’s enhance its services and make your voice count. We encourage you to take the survey today and contribute to improving the overall customer experience at Lowe’s. Thank you for your participation.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Eva Glasrud completed her B.A. and M.A. at Stanford. She is now a college counselor and life coach for gifted youth.

    Archives

    October 2022
    May 2022
    July 2021
    September 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    August 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    October 2018
    May 2018
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015

    Categories

    All
    College Admissions
    Creativity
    Essay Help
    Life Coaching
    Meaning
    Purdue
    Purpose
    Stanford
    UC
    UNC
    University Of California
    University Of Southern California
    USC

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photos from fjing229, SchuminWeb (CC BY-SA 2.0), mytradingskills, alusch, Scudamore's Punting Company, verchmarco, Photographing Travis, shixart1985, ropaisus, ogungo, Michael Dunn~!, MrJamesBaker, fdecomite, Michael Dunn~!, SchuminWeb, Homedust
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
  • Oxford-Style Tutorials
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Life Coaching
  • Payments