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Advice to Get You Started on Your Applications -- And, hopefully, Improve Your Whole Life :)

5 Well-Known College Essay Tips That Are Actually TERRIBLE Advice

9/13/2020

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Some of the most common college essay advice... is also the most terrible. 

I've been an education consultant and college counselor for eight years — at this point, I've heard it all... And it almost feels like a moral obligation to tell you that the advice people have been giving you is probably wrong.
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Here is some of the most commonly regurgitated, most terrible advice that's drilled into high school seniors: 

1. Don't write about teen travel tours or your service trip.

This tops the list, because it is the most terrible. 

Your first overseas experience is going to affect you profoundly. Unless you're the most narrow-minded little punk of all time, your travel or service trip will open your eyes to new perspectives, rock you with culture shock, cause physical and emotional discomfort, and all the other "cliched" things teens are told not to share in their college applications. 

To this I say:

There are no bad essay topics. There are only bad essays.

If all you want to talk about in your essay is experiencing new perspectives, culture shock, and physical/emotional discomfort... you will write a bad essay.

Because literally everyone else on your trip (and everyone on all the thousands of others offered around the world) could write the exact same essay.

Instead of being boring and writing the same essay as everyone else, think about what you did better or differently from your peers. Think about the ways in which you benefitted more from the same trip.

For example, if it were me, I'd write about how, even though I was on a "group" trip, I spent most of my free time alone — but through that aloneness, I forged true cultural connections. Instead of spending my free time shopping or watching Youtube videos with the other Americans, I wandered the streets of Myanmar, where I met some young monks who invited me back to their orphanage to talk Katy Perry, lobsters, and other topics of interest over ping pong. 
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From: How to Write Epic and Unforgettable Service Trip and Teen Travel Tour Essays.

I'd write about the woman I met from the State Department, who urged me to apply for a NISL-Y language scholarship after she overheard me negotiating in Burmese — "I've met dozens of summer abroad students, and none has ever put in the effort you did to learn such an obscure language."

I'd write about the moral unease I felt about traveling in a country that was so clearly guilty of so many human rights violations — and how, upon my return home, I did an independent reading about human rights in the 21st century.

All of these are specific examples that show something important about me — and that I got more out of the trip than my peers. 

The monks/orphanage show courage, independence, self-reliance, and intitative. 

The State Department woman shows initiative, a level of accomplishment in self-learning a new, obscure language, an openness to new experiences — and it connects my teen travel trip to the Next Big Thing (a language scholarship) in my life.

The moral unease/independent reading shows that, unlike all the students who write that their summer abroad "changed their life," your life was ACTUALLY changed by the trip. You took something you observed, felt, and learned overseas, and continued studying it upon your return home. 

Here is another example of an overseas studies trip essay, which I shared in ​How to Write Epic and Unforgettable Service Trip or Teen Travel Tour Essays for College Admissions: 
Prompt 4: Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. 

Ahh -- Pizza Napoletana! The very essence of Italian cooking! Prior to our meal, Giulia, the restaurant owner, had explained that the tomatoes must be grown in the volcanic soil of San Marzano sul Sarno, while the dough must be crowned only with D.O.C. (Denominazione di Origine Controllata) Mozzarella di Bufala Campana. She’d shown us her traditional wood-fired oven while her two daughters giggled by her side.


After the explosion of history and flavor that was our dinner, my Teen Travel group erupted into conversation… but I slipped away. Around the corner, Giulia and her employee were tidying up the kitchen.

“Thank you for dinner. It was delicious,” I said in slow survival Italian (I’d downloaded some Pimsleurs courses before the trip).

She smiled at my attempt. Soon, we were discussing the joys and challenges of her work. When I asked if she'd ever considered expanding her business, she thumbed a stain on her apron.

“No. In Italy, family-run business can’t get credit.”

I’d known it was a stormy market -- before the trip, I’d asked my AP Economics teacher for reading recommendations that would help me understand Italy’s economy, and had worked my way through his list in the weeks before my departure from JFK. I’d reveled in (and sometimes stared in confusion at) the details of bailouts and austerity… but never considered how it might affect small businesses.

That night, I did some additional research. I learned that, even though Italy’s economy is recovering, the big banks are still unable to offer capital to small businesses -- the very ones that were making my service trip so memorable.

This sparked my interest in the most basic of financial products: the bank loan. Is this something that could be profitable in Italy -- or is it still too risky? Is this a problem that is ripe for innovation? I emailed my FBLA advisor to find out. “Aren’t you taking AP Stats in the fall?” she asked. “Why don’t you collect some data during your trip so you have something real to analyze?”

So began my senior project, “The Case for Small Business Lending in Italy.” Compiling survey data for 30 minutes each night after my fellow travelers had collapsed into their beds was exhausting -- thank Jupiter for marocchino and caffe corretto! But it was intellectually stimulating and interpersonally meaningful to discuss small business ownership with the vendors who always went the extra kilometer, even for a loud and boisterous group of American teenagers.

Upon returning home, I found ways to relive my trip every day. I learned to use MAXQDA software to qualitatively analyze survey results, and had the chance to apply what I was learning in Stats to real-world problems. I began reading about non-traditional small business lenders, like Cabbage and Blue Vine -- and after I finish this essay, I’ll start working on my cover letter for internships with them this summer, because I am sincerely excited about being able to offer fast, cheap loans to bold entrepreneurs who just want to make a living sharing their passions with the world.

The obvious takeaway of this essay is that I went to Italy on a service trip and discovered an interesting problem I am still trying to solve. But -- who knows? When I arrive at college and begin taking classes on topics from Bioethics to Bob Dylan, I might discover a completely different path.

Whatever I become an expert in, whomever I decide to help, my ability to look a little deeper, start conversations with teachers, mentors, and strangers, and follow through with my curiosities, will truly empower me to make a difference.

As you begin outlining and brainstorming for your Personal Statement or supplemental essays, make sure to emphasize personal qualities and decisions that helped you get more out of your trip than others got out of theirs. 

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2. BE qUiRkY!!

If I had a whifflewonkle for every time I've heard this one...

The idea behind this advice is good. It is good to inject your personality, character, and voice into the essay. You're not writing a scholarly article for your history teacher — you are writing a personal statement that should make the readers feel like they know you.

That doesn't mean you have to pretend to be someone you're not.

That doesn't mean you have to rewrite a perfectly amazing and compelling essay because someone told you to BE qUiRkY!!!

If you are funny, or punny, or love a good 80s pop culture reference — GREAT! Write that! 

But if you've got a serious, straightforward, thoughtful, introspective personality, and you try to write a qUiRkY essay... it's going to come across as weird and inauthentic. 

Admissions officers are experts at detecting authenticity.

That's why you hear stories about the top student at a high school with all the right grades and scores and extracurriculars getting rejected from Harvard, while a girl who was "only" in the top 10% of her class got accepted. The former checked all the boxes, without ever connecting them to any kind of authentic purpose or interest or reason. The latter did what she did for a reason, and that came across in her essays.

The thing to remember is:

There is a difference between UNIQUE and QUIRKY.

If you are quirky, then write quirky essays. For sure. That's a big part of you, and you should let it shine. 

If you're not quirky, then find another way to be unique. Maybe what's unique about you is your original thought process. Maybe what's unique about you is your dedication to your research or political cause. 


Despite the terrible advice you might get about making your essay "quirkier," you really don't need to rewrite yourself or your story. BE YOU, and highlight the things that are most interesting and unique about your journey.

Which, honestly, is hard for a lot of students. To you, it's not "unique" — it's just your life. That's why it might be helpful to brainstorm with a college essay tutor who has experience working with college admissions officers and conducting alumni interviews (you know — someone like me) to help you figure out the best approach for you.
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3. Don't write about sports.

Ugh — SO DUMB.

If sports are a big part of your life, it would be weird not to write about them.

There is no reason to think bassoon, chess, debate, and choir are legitimate interests, but basketball, volleyball, squash, fencing, or cross-country are not.

Any activity you pour a significant amount of time, effort, and bodily fluids  (blood, sweat and tears) into is something worth writing about.

It comes down to the point I mentioned before:

There are no bad essay topics. Only bad essays. 

I'll say it again:

There are no bad essay topics. Only bad essays.

One more time: 

There are no bad essay topics. Only bad essays.

Okay. Hopefully, that's enough to counter all the terrible advice you've been getting. 

But, just as I wrote in the teen travel essay, it's important to write a sports essay that ONLY YOU could write. 

Even if you were standing on the free throw line with a tied score and only 2 seconds left in the game...

Probably thousands of other applicants have had that or a similar experience. 

So think about what traits you have that contributed to your success in the sport — as a captain, as a team player, as someone who just loves to have fun — and write about those. 

Think about your unique thought process — what perspectives do you have from or about that sport that would surprise or delight a reader? For example, here's a brainstorm I shared in How to Write Successful Stanford Short Answer Essays:
Talk about why you do this activity; how it has changed you; what about it you found the most meaningful

OR. Tell them what this activity says about your personality, goals or values.

OR. Think of something you want them to know about you that they don't know already.

Come up with at least three good ideas before choosing one. Here is how I would approach this essay:

Brainstorming -- without worrying about ideas being good, bad, cheesy, or cliche. When you're brainstorming, there are no bad ideas. 

Idea 1: Everything I Know About Life, I Learned From Basketball
Idea 2: I Am Not Afraid of Childbirth, Because Nothing Could Be More Painful Than Rowing - an essay about working hard to excel at a sport I love
​Idea 3: How One Game of Pickup Volleyball Changed My Life - when the varsity coach saw me playing, he invited me to try out for the team. Even though I'd planned on running cross country, I took a chance on something new, and loved it.

So let's say I settled on Idea 1 -- Everything I Know About Life, I Learned From Basketball:


Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (50-150 words)​

Everything I know about life, I learned from pickup basketball.

I learned that the most important goal… is to get in the game. The only way to improve is through experience. So figure out how to get in (free throws? Threes?), and master that skill -- even if you never do it during the game. 

The second most important objective… is to win the mental game. Anyone who knows me would say I’m among the sweetest people they’ve met. But the first thing I do when I play ball is convince the person I’m guarding that I'm about to humiliate them. It’s all about posture, confidence, and starting explosively. The first five seconds can determine the whole game.

Third, fundamentals. Master them. Practice them every day.

Finally, if you don’t do it 100%, there’s no point doing it at all. No one ever threw their defender making a cut at 70%.

​***

This essay says a lot about my personality... and even wisdom. 

Here's another sample: 
Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (50-150 words)​

You already know about my accomplishments on the volleyball court; what you don’t know is that it all started with a single game of outdoor pickup.
​
My sophomore spring, I was eager to continue with cross country next fall. I loved my teammates, the foliage-y New England courses, and, mostly, my amazing coach. But when the varsity volleyball coach happened upon me smashing the ball in my best friend’s face (he thought since he was five inches taller than me, he could block my hits -- ha!), she invited me to try-outs.

After careful consideration, I said yes!

Volleyball taught me to accept and seek opportunities. It taught me to always ask, “What else can I do?” Finally, it taught me that starting behind doesn’t mean you’ll never get ahead. Among my achievements is breaking three career records, even though I only played for two years.
​

***

Remember: be creative. 

For example, here's how I might have approached my Personal Statement if I wanted to write about sports (from How to Write A TOTALLY EPIC Common App Essay Prompt 7 on the Topic of Your Choice):
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.​​

What is your nickname? Explain its origins.


"Good workout. See you next time, Next."

My face, dripping with sweat, scrunches. Next? What? Did I hear him wrong? But by the time I can breathe, John has already left the erg room.

A few days later, it happens again -- this time, in the dining hall.

"Hey, Next. They just put some hard boiled eggs on the salad bar, in case you need extra protein."

As Nick strolls away, I see Jen, one of my rowing teammates. "Jen! Why do all the crew guys keep calling me next?"
​
She looks at me for a moment, shocked that I don't already know.

"Because they think you're going to be the next Exeter Academy Olympian."

​Oh. ​



***

From there, you'd talk about the determination and dedication it took to get good at the sport or activity, and what your goals are moving forward. 

These are all short answer supplemental essays. That doesn't mean you can only write short sports essays. Here is a sample essay I wrote for the University of California (UC) Personal Insight Questions, Prompt 1:
Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.  

 
I’ll be blunt: I have the perfect body…
 
For a rower.
 
At least, that’s what everyone started telling me the moment I arrived in New England. “Try rowing! You’ll be awesome!”
 
But, but… I’m a runner! And a basketball player! I told myself.
 
If rowers are anything, though, they’re persistent. I admired that, and eventually decided to at least give it a try.
 
Let’s revisit my opening sentence: “I have the perfect body… for a rower.”
 
With just the right height and build, I had a physical advantage that helped me excel. In six weeks, I broke a 20-year-old boathouse record – meaning that I was the fastest rower my school’s history.
 
But that’s not what’s remarkable about my season.
 
What’s remarkable is that I noticed (and cared) that women who had spent years training were discouraged to lose their spot to a newbie. I noticed how frustrated certain teammates – including our captain – felt when they realized they would never break the records they’d worked tirelessly to break.
 
So I vowed to make a change. To be confident, without seeming arrogant. To show I’d earned my spot – but that it absolutely wasn’t “easy.” To help my teammates – and myself! – focus on team, rather than individual, goals. To do my best by helping others improve.
 
From then on, I decided, I would always finish last. When we ran hills, I’d continue sprinting up and down, shouting, “Let’s go! We’ve GOT this!” until the last girl was finished. When we erged, I’d pull until everyone was done.
 
Soon, other top rowers joined in.
 
Extra hill by extra hill, extra stroke by extra stroke, we grew together, culminating in a New England Championship and an invitation to the famous Henley Regatta.
 
I’d finished the basketball and volleyball seasons that year as Captain Elect, but was not chosen for crew captain. Yes, I’d’ve loved being tri-varsity captain and MVP – but my heart wasn’t broken. I’d learned that you don’t need a title to be a leader. You don’t need the most experience to inspire others. And there’s more to being “the best” than your own individual performance.  ​

***

I've also seen really compelling essays that connected sports to social issues. For example, I had a state-ranked golfer who wrote about elitism, and what kinds of rule changes would truly "level the playing field." I had a squash player who wrote about the interesting dynamic that comes from friendships between competitors. I had a JV basketball player who wrote about how, at 4'10, he always knew he had no shot at varsity -- he just wanted to be good enough that people would let him play pickup with them.

All of these are more compelling than, "There I was, on the foul line, with all eyes on me..."

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4. Don't write about volunteer work or community service.

There is a reason so many people advise against this topic — it has a high potential for being boring. There's... not much interesting about pouring soup.

And literally everyone who writes a service essay is going to say they used to take everything for granted until they saw how poor the disadvantaged are. 

Everyone but you.

YOU are going to find a way to be unique. To do the same thing other people did, but get more out of it. 

And this starts with, as I wrote in Here's What Colleges REALLY Think About Volunteer Work, being proactive and showing growth within the organization. 

It looks weird if you spent hours every week doing the same thing... but you never grew or took on additional responsibilities. If this work is so meaningful to you, didn't you want to find other ways to give back — perhaps ways that leverage skills you've developed? Or wouldn't you want to use service to develop new skills? 

Here's another thing you need to remember, as I wrote in What Colleges REALLY Think About Volunteer Work:
Never, ever write an essay about how such-and-such a volunteer experience "changed your life" if it didn't actually change your life. 

Don't say your summer spent building schools in El Salvador changed your life... if you went back to school and kept doing the same things you were already doing. If it truly changed your life -- show that it changed your life.

Take a Spanish for Medical Professionals course online or at a local community college. Volunteer for a labor or immigration issues groups. Join a grassroots effort to legalize drugs in your state, if you think that will make a difference to the orphans you worked with!

If you want to write about service but you haven't grown within the organization, then find ways you've grown because of the service in other organizations. Do a photography project that highlights the struggles of the homeless population in your community. Do an AP History project on the history of asylums and the future of housing the mentally ill. Start a collaboration between the local library and the local food bank.

Otherwise, you're just writing an essay about doing something anyone could do.
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5. Don't write about tragedies.

Some of the best essays I've ever read were about tragedies. 

The key is to connect the tragedy to your coursework, extracurriculars, or other achievements. (And, obviously, don't be a downer, whiner, excuse-maker, or complainer.)

Did you win the science fair after your dad died of a heart attack, because you needed to understand why an otherwise-healthy man would die so suddenly?

Did your parents' divorce inspire you to read Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, then write a comparative historical fiction play or story about how their marriage would have played out at different times in history?

Did you uncover a passion for geology after a tragic fall left you in a wheelchair for two years? 

Write about that FOR SURE. Not only does it show resilience on your part, but it also connects meaning and purpose to the activities on your resume, so readers know that you're doing what you're doing for a reason, and not just to get into college. 

It's shocking how many high-achieving students have no intrinsic motivation. Show that you're different. Write about your tragedy. 
Need help finding meaning in your tragedy? Contact me.

***

Have you encountered other bad advice in your college application process? Share it in the comments! 

    Need More Help? Contact Paved With Verbs.

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1 Comment
aman
3/27/2021 07:05:21 am

I wanna subscribe to your vlogs. Is it possible. If yes, please tell me the process

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    Eva Glasrud completed her B.A. and M.A. at Stanford. She is now a college counselor and life coach for gifted youth.

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